I’ve been meaning to address this topic for a long time. Being in this business, I spend hours every week helping women and girls try on and shop for clothing. Body size, clothing size, weight, shape, body image and shame come up constantly in conversation.
Sometimes it makes me so sad and frustrated. I get some of the most beautiful, young, and vibrant girls in here and even most of them are down on their appearance. So much pressure to be perfect when there is no such thing!!!
Damn it- people come in all their glorious colors, shapes, sizes, and appearances. Most of it is heredity. If your Mama got big boobs, most likely you will too. None of this has any thing to do with your worth as a human being.
Most of us are several sizes and shapes in our lifetime, childbearing and age take their toll. I firmly believe we have to chuck out some of society’s pressure and start being more comfortable in our own skins. All woman have something beautiful about them and a lot of it is based on self perception.
I have seen size 2 women who are convinced they are flawed and so do nothing to look nice. I have also seen women who are size 22 and are loaded with sex appeal and strut their stuff.
Let me share my own experience with you.
Chubby kid growing up, constant shame and criticism from parents about my size. Brief period in adolescence when I got thinner. Mostly because of smoking and depression. Most of adult life between size 16 and size 22. Dressed kind of matronly and dowdy. Thought fashion was for those “other” women who were attractive and deserved it.
About 8 years ago I managed to lose about 50 lbs. I got more confident and gave myself a makeover. Hairstyle, fun, fashionable clothing, makeup, the works. I could tell people treated me different which I thought was because I was thinner and there is such bias against fat people.
Well, I could only maintain the weight loss for about 3 or so years and eventually gained about 40 lbs. back. But I never looked back. I liked the new person I had become and CONTINUED to dress fashionably, and make myself as attractive as possible. People continued to treat me with the same respect in spite of the weight gain. I finally got it.
Self worth can not be based on size. If you believe you DESERVE respect and to be attractive, you will start acting that way and people respond to that!
Forward to present. I am 52 years od. I currently wear a plus size 16. I still battle my weight and it fluctuates. I wear glasses. I have scoliosis which gives me a short torso, multiple surgical scars,and a rounded back. My boobs have headed south and my ass has gotten flat. In spite of all that I consider myself a person deserving to be attactive.
I have cultivated my own own individual style, wearing fun, well fitting clothing, collect vintage jewelry, get my hair cut, colored red and styled and wear makeup. I get compliments all the time. People ask me for fashion advice all the time.
Moral of story. Take care of yourself. Love and work with what you got. No more putting yourself down. People perceive how you view yourself and treat you accordingly. You are a worth while human being and that is not dependent on size or age.
So, my lovely friends and customers, what I want for you is all those things and to know at my shop people come in all sizes and we celebrate the difference.
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